Do you still have your period?
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
