The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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