I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
