it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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