they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
