ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
You're like the curious george of whores
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
