Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize
