____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
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