Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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