your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Randomize
