Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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