Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize