A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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