white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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