Who did Billy Mays play for?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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