well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
