I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
