we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Randomize
