the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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