i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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