Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
