I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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