look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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