Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
