Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
