apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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