return my video game
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
