Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
