"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Randomize