I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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