Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
