i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
