My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
