ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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