i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize