I think I just saw someone hide a body.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
