I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Randomize
