That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
