I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
