In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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