you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
