I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
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