He kissed a someone with a penis
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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