there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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