I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
