But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Randomize
