Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
you didnt know i had herpes?
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
