As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I checked into jail on foursquare
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
