just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
