xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
