Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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