All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
