had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
