Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
