So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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