So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
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