Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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