found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
